blarghhhhh to diabetes. BLARGH!

 today we were running a stall do raise money for the youth club in my village. “Right.” I said to myself this morning. “The past few days I’ve been having 6 units to cover my breakfast, and then running high 2 hours after… I don’t wanna go low today, so I’ll stick to 6 instead of upping it to 7.” So I have a big-ish breakfast, have 6 units, go to our stall, hang around for bit with Laura. It gets to like 10.30. hm. I need to do a post-breakfast…. I need to wash my hands…. So I had to walk back to Laura’s to wash my hands in preparation. Test. 4.9. ouch. it’s “think like a pancreas” all over again. 4.9. Not low, but a bit iffy for a post-meal. But I felt so bad about asking Laura’s mum for some long lasting carbs that I just treated it like a minor low and had half a glucose tab. yes. stupid, I know. So I finally got back to our stall. “What was it Emma?” “four point nine.” “FOUR POINT NINE!?” mum says.

it’s not like 4.9’s even that low. it’s not even LOW. damnit. so. crisps for me. another glucose tablet for me. a refresher bar for me. yum! an hour after the previous reading “WHAAT? I’m 4.8 now!” More food. Two hours after lunch, exactly the same problem. Ate Jaffa Cakes- 12.0. WHAT? great. Me and Laura went for a sprint around the field. A while later. I couldn’t see. As in my eyes were stinging and blurry and HORRID. I’d gone up to 12.2. plergh. blargh. I hate diabetes. It stinks. I wish I didn’t have to live my teenage years with this restrictive force weighing upon everything I want to do. Before diagnosis on a Friday at the youth club I was always so hungry. One day me and Lozzie ate a whole big packet of Jaffa Cakes and I had a Kinder Bueno. sigh. good old days.

I wish I could have one day without this pushing me down.

On the other hand A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MATT!